The Victoria Bushfires, and it's greater ramifications.

Yet constantly over the past few days, I find myself and my Facebook status updates page bombarded with constant reassurance that I have a network of friends who do indeed find our volunteer fire fighters somewhat a lot more handy than the after-thought they were relegated to a few weeks ago, or that those who I've never perceived to be the nightly prayers type are promoting the ambigiously referred to "loved ones" as the headline act of tonight's Prayerfest. Perhaps I've just overestimated the importance of air to staying alive, or underestimated the cult popularity of kiddy fiddlers also...

The real miracle to come out of this drama, is that the death toll is not far higher than what it currently is, given the extreme self-interest that is constantly on show for all to see from a large majority of people involved in this tragedy.

My thoughts aren't currently with anyone that has perished or has lost someone in these fires. Honestly, my thoughts are with that cheese pizza that is in my fridge, and wondering whether it's still edible after 2 days in there. This isn't to say I'm not sympathetic to those and their losses, or that I'm glad in any way shape or form. I just haven't exactly tripped over anyone in a supermarket who has just become so overcome with their thought process being nowhere but on those involved, or read any news stories about car crashes caused by sudden news updates about the bushfires that have lead to people unable to think about anything else, such as driving an automobile, and instead felt the need to pray for the first time in years, possibly ever.

Changing my Facebook status to make people aware that I'm aware of the bushfires isn't going to do anything either. Given the stampede of people rushing to do so, it's even unlikely that it will make the status update page of your Facebook friends, let alone undo the damage done by people, who, to steal a quote from The Dark Knight, just want to watch the world burn. How many would still update their status to something bushfire related, were it to mean that you had to donate $1 from your Paypal account to the bushfire appeal?

At the time of publication, I am yet to donate anything to any bushfire related charities or appeals. This is due to the fact that I have no money, no bushfire fighting related skills, and the victims of the fire have obviously suffered enough without having the burden of my horrible fashion crimes that I no longer wear imparted onto them. Should the two day old pizza in the fridge come good, those in need are welcome to share it with me, but you'd want to get here within the next two hours, as it will be gone after that. Should my circumstances change and I am able to offer something, I wouldn't tell you if I offered it anyway, it is none of your business, and quite simply would be nothing more than an act of big noting on my part. I do not need to know how much of your "hard earned" you've kicked in for a good cause or how charitable you are in comparison to the next person. What I would like to do, however, is challenge those who have attempted to purchase themselves some social credit, by "officially attending" the Buy A CFA Volunteer a Beer day, to post some sort of proof, whether it be a receipt or a photo, that you have actually done this, rather than had the good intentions to do so, as we all know the road to Hell is filed with them and all that. Please, blur out the price tag for this beer, please, don't even show us the fancy imported type of beer you bought them, even better, blur out your face to show that you're not in this for personal satisfaction.

Personally, I think I could struggle with this effort to deservedly intoxicate our volunteer firies. I don't know all that many. I don't feel comfortable about walking into my local, buying a beer, and raising it in the air before asking the entire pub; "Is anyone here a fireman?". I'd also be slightly paranoid that people may just pretend to be a firey to get a freebie out of me, and what if they don't like the type of beer that I bought them, offended that all I could offer is local swill, or even worse that I think I'm better than them by buying them the most expensive type of beer on offer? What if they don't even drink beer? Bloody hell, this is confusing.

I'd also like to point out that my links to those affected first hand by the bushfires are tenuous at best. A couple of friends of friends, associates at best really. Most of whom have suffered property damage or loss, but are physically OK just the same. My best wishes (actually, not even sure what that entails, so perhaps scrap that one. I can't say I'm in possession of a lamp or packet of Tim Tams containing a magic genie, nor does it seem like shooting star weather, so might not have many wishes to offer) go out to those who feel it necessary to big-note themselves and turn the discussion into one about themselves, by pointing out that they know the entire town of __________, and all affected by it, and have had their entire Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game ruined, by the deaths of those in the fires, all of whom they knew very well.

And another thing...should you see a name that you know personally (like, you know, in real life, rather than those you may or may not) appear on the upcoming Ch. 9 telethon, donating their "hard earned", to let them know in no uncertain terms what a wanker they are. Please also point out how easy it is to remain anonymous or perhaps use a fake name (I hope that there are plenty of donations from Max Power) in the interests of modesty. Should anyone do the usual "Good Friday Appeal special" of requesting that Shannon Noll or Plucka Duck read their donation out on air so that they will double it, please hunt them down, and brutally donkey punch them however way you can.

You may also find that a hot conversation topic going around is currently what sentence those who started the fire should receive. "Lynch them", "Death penalty", "Life in jail", "Forced to read a lifetime supply of Jill Singer columns" are all relevant and incredibly original, I also commend you for your knowledge of the justice system. More importantly, it is worth considering that your comments on the matter obviously fail to fully take into account the lives lost here. I'm sure those who have just lost legitimate loved ones really want to hear more talk about unnecessary death at this point also.

In conclusion, The Crow once offered this quote - "If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever", however, despite those who loved Branden Lee deciding to show their love by dressing up just like him, and going on shooting sprees in high schools worldwide, the quote remains relevant here. Remember who the real victims are here, and more importantly, remember who this series of unfortunate events is really about.

Not you.